For Those Who Father
For Those Who Father
I’m going to briefly share with you how important the role of a father is in a child’s life and in our community. (The definition of father here will be interchangeable to represent dads and consistent father figures).
Dads influence their child’s academic success, growth mindset, social/emotional growth, teen pregnancy, drug use, alcohol abuse, crime and poverty just to name a few. Dads are so important that their influence takes place before conception! Studies suggest that, “men who binge drink before conception are more likely to have kids with congenital heart diseases and who abuse alcohol. “ (Krisch, 2023). The same can be said for what the father eats before conception as well as his stress levels.
It is time we recognize that Dads are not disposable.
My Dad may be viewed by some as unsuccessful in the business world. We moved from job to job as he was a city manager and enjoyed turning towns into cities. He was extremely busy with city council meetings, Rotary meetings, Boy Scouts of America meetings, not to mention being a father of many. Sometimes he was unemployed. When he was to, “retire’ he stayed busy subbing in classrooms, and serving the wonderful people in Ghana, Africa with my mom for 3 years. He now suffers from dementia. He wakes up every morning still feeling the need to give. So he goes to a humanitarian organization to quietly twist plastic bags together that make floor mats. These plastic floor mats are then shipped to 3rd world countries to fight diseases spread by bare, wet feet. To me, my dad is not unsuccessful. He is my everything.
I share the following true story from my heart to you, the friends and supporters of Rebound Families:
When I was in 6th grade, he asked for me to meet with him in his, “office” (really a kind of storage room in our poorly lit basement). I sat by him and wondered what on earth I did wrong to warrant time in his office. He said something like this while opening up his forever present pocket planner,
“Keri, do you this this date coming up on Friday? I have meetings scheduled in pencil. A meeting with the city attorney, a meeting with the mayor” and on he went sharing his very packed schedule.
“Each of these meetings I’ve written down in pencil because sometimes more important interruptions happen. I’ve got an hour for lunch though, and I’d like to take you out to lunch. Just the two of us.”
I was amazed. My jaw just might have dropped. Just me and my dad? Going to lunch?
“What about school?”
“Oh, I can pick you up from school during your lunch recess and take you right back.”
“What would you like to eat for lunch?”
Now, this was a welcomed question for me. As the oldest of a large family I often felt somewhat powerless as to what kind of casserole dinner we would eat each night. I then thought outside the box in an alarmingly unhealthy way.
"Hostess Snowballs! The pink ones, with chocolate milk!” (Yup, I’m in 6th grade!)
He then said and did something that has influenced me forever:
“All the people in my planner are important to me, but they are written in pencil. You are so important to me that I am writing our date down in ink. I will not cancel my appointment with you. I will be there for our lunch. You are more important to me than the city attorney, the mayor, or anyone else on this page.”
Yes, my dad showed up and took me out to a delicious lunch of Snowballs and chocolate milk. We sat on a park bench and talked, just he and I. Each and every single month thereafter he would take me out for our, “appointment”. Once we went to a railroad cafe, once to a leather shop to make a keyring. Month after month. Year after year.
It was my dad who taught me I am ink worthy. It was my dad who taught me what healthy love looks like, and what love does and doesn’t do.
So this Father’s Day may you remember that you too, are ink worthy. You too, know what healthy love looks like, and what healthy love does and doesn’t do.
And, if you don’t have this knowledge or are struggling to see your importance in your child’s life….we can help you with that, it’s why we are here. YOU are our WHY.